I've just had to learn to mourn those losses. For me, nothing will ever equal the bond between the closes of friends. Once lost, I lose a piece of myself, but I gain a plethora of beautiful memories on which to sustain myself.
So much was left unsaid. I can't help but wonder what we would've said and done that last day if we hadnt got caught. We actually wouldve got to say goodbye. Would I have gotten another long hug from you? One last hug to make me feel safe for the few seconds I was in your arms? Would I have broken down right there? Would you have been the first guy to see me cry over goodbye? Would you have held me in your arms and told me it was alright? So much was left unsaid and undone. Too much.