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Funny Confession Ecard: I'm going to kill that fucking spider! ...Unless it moves two centimeters then I'm going to jump, scream, throw my shoe across the room and run for it.

This is so true, it's rediculous. I don't always loose my phone... But when I do, it's on vibrate/silent.

When I get old I'm not going to sit around knitting. I'm going to be clicking my Life Alert button seeing how many hot fucking firefighters show up!

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Roaches: Making surprise athletes out of women since the dawn of time. @Tamara Battaglia

I don't work in hell but I thought this was funny :) same here!

Funny Confession Ecard: I refuse to lose weight because it wouldn't be fair to all the skinny girls if I were this good-looking, intelligent, funny, awesome AND thin. It's a public service, really. Yeah that's me ;)