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I'm not always right, but when I am it's usually all of the time.

What.. the FUCK?

It just occurred to me that I can solve almost all of my problems by obtaining more money.

Just relized that way too many of my converstations begin with, 'I saw this thing on Pinterest...' Can I get amen?

I always say what I mean. I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party!

I think i finally get this shit...... 'Adulthood' is mostly about being tired and wishing you hadn't made plans.

Probably laughed a little too hard at this one