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An apple a day will keep the doctor away, but eating 2 it will just kill you. My words of wisdom cause I choose chips over apples any day.

#funnyquotes See the Top 25 Funny Quotes by the "EXPERTS"... click above :-)

Punch someone in the face - Ha Ha (This is a joke - not serious - do not do this at home. See the Top 25 Funny Quotes by the "EXPERTS".

In alcohol's defense @Carey Baldwin Salvador  re: twitter  lol

Quotes: In alcohol's defense I've done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too!

bwah ^^

Don't try ti figure me out, I'm a special kind of twisted. I really am.

Putting your leg out of the blankets and then feeling exposed to monsters

Not so normsl. Dump A Day funny quotes monsters under your bed - Dump A Day

Even Duct tape can't fix stupid....

Saw on FB. Even Duct tape can' t fix stupid BUT it can muffle The sound Duct tape Saw on FB Even can' t fix stupid BUT it can muffle The sound

Lol are word when a bitch takes a back seat and holds on to it for dear life

Don’t try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer.

Funny Pictures Of The Day  74 Pics

I'm just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day". funny quotes about living with chronic illness / fibro/ BRAIN FOG / / lupus

Pls dnt txt wyl u driv, unless you wanna meet your maker!

Funny Church Sign: "Honk if you Love Jesus, text while driving if you want to meet Him.

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