I'll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life, I'm going to 'let cool in microwave for 1 minute'.

I'll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life, I'm going to 'let cool in microwave for 1 minute'.

why, yes, I CAN multi-task .. I can text, eat, browse Pinterest, and watch tv, .. all at the same time.

why, yes, I CAN multi-task .. I can text, eat, browse Pinterest, and watch tv, .. all at the same time.

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!" This sounds like my husband, not me.

Ships Free! In Stock. Ships in 1-2 days. - Poster Size: 12" x 18" - Printed on heavyweight (216 gsm) poster paper - Printed in the USA - Suitable for framing

Maybe Swearing Will Help Poster

Ships Free! In Stock. Ships in 1-2 days. - Poster Size: 12" x 18" - Printed on heavyweight (216 gsm) poster paper - Printed in the USA - Suitable for framing

Dear Lord please forgive me for I am gonna sin like a motherfucker this weekend

Dear Lord please forgive me for I am gonna sin like a motherfucker this weekend

Dear Family, Thanks for putting empty boxes back in the cabinet...

Dear Family, Thanks for putting empty boxes back in the cabinet...

“Mommy, watch this!!!” is the toddler equivalent of “Hold my beer.” It usually means something stupid and dangerous is about to take place.

“Mommy, watch this!!!” is the toddler equivalent of “Hold my beer.” It usually means something stupid and dangerous is about to take place.

@Jackie Godbold Rivera, I thought of your mom's "where do babies come from" answer when I saw this! LOL

@Jackie Godbold Rivera, I thought of your mom's "where do babies come from" answer when I saw this! LOL

Capitalization is the difference between "helping your Uncle Jack off a horse" and "helping your uncle jack off a horse."

Capitalization is the difference between "helping your Uncle Jack off a horse" and "helping your uncle jack off a horse."

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