if you can't be kind, be quiet. If only people remember that in the "HEAT" of the moment. When we were young, we were told just about the same thing. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"
One of my favorite ideas ever. I heard an evangelist say it once and thought it was perfect. For some odd reason I attract a lot of people who live by the "I'm just telling the truth no matter what" philosophy.