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Oh how I wish sarcasm burned calories! I'd be so wonderfully skinny! If being sarcastic burned calories, I'd look like half of an Olsen twin.

Quotes: "Oh, honey, you have gone beyond #muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits!"

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Oh honey, you have gone beyond muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits.

Why yes

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, at this point, I should be able to bench press a buick.

Why not go do some fun stuff, like traveling, before you settle down with a guy and even a family forever?

Funny Wedding Ecard: Getting married before the age of 25 sounds a lot like leaving a party before 10 PM to me. well-i-thought-it-was-funny

Stop setting yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals!

An entry from Sweet Serendipity

I plan on losing 15 lbs. and I expect to see results by morning. so true it's sad lol

Happy Friday!

Get your free dose of laughter through our sarcastic, funny sayings, funny quotes, humorous quotes witty, dark and twisted humor of funny e cards.

Ha ha.. Love it:-)

people always think I'm drunk after just 2 drinks. When in fact, it's not my fault I'm naturally just a God damn blast

Serve me up some perfect abs please

I hate it when you open the fridge and can't find what you were looking for. Like happiness and perfect abs. Come on, fridge!

@Lynsie Magill or anything to drink in doubles LOL

A girl's best friend Haha Funny Friendship Ecard: A good friend brings over a bottle of wine to share. A best friend brings two.

HAHA

6 Emotions Every Couple Experiences While Planning Their Wedding

"Money can't buy happiness, but I'd cheer up much faster sipping a margarita on the beach outside of my oceanfront mansion." - Funny but slightly true.

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