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"But it hurts my Joey's apple..." HAHA! This is one of my favorite "Joey" moments!

Haha that rude man needs someone to show him what's it like to win an award and have it ruined by an a-hole.

Yes--but mainly i just wanted to keep the bottom picture.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Dinner again? Damnit, I just fed them yesterday.

Funny Anniversary Ecard: Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say.

I just ran my first marathon this morning. Just kidding. I'm on my third cupcake.

You start tickling and your injuries are no longer my fault....

Congratulations on successfully performing a basic task of life which the rest of the world performs daily and without expectation of praise.

Mostly because I'm hilarious.

'Should I add more liquor?' is the most ridiculous question I've ever been asked.