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You Wish Your Bar Mitzvah Was This Fabulous

I'm always disappointed when a liars pants don't catch on fire!

haha

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna kill- ahh damn! She's under a blanket.

Dear God... All I ask is one chance to prove to you that winning the lottery won't make me a bad person... :D  haha

Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: It's true money can't buy happiness, but I'd cheer up much faster while sitting poolside in a loungechair outside of my oceanfront mansion.

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The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in That means it only took 100 years for men to realize their brain is also important.

quite true...

Sarcasm is best when people think you're sincere. - Humor me - Sarcasm Funnies

Haha!  We've all been there, haven't we?? ;)

I used to think you took my breath away but then I realized I was just suffocated by your bullshit.

#damntheman

I can't believe that cop put me in the backseat when I clearly called shotgun. I think this is funny I think it says something about my sense of humor.

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Everything You Need for Urban Chicken Raising from The Chicken Whisperer

KFC witness protection program - Funny chicken walking on stilts among flamingos.

Finally it's right! Someone else had said, "If you've ever washed your hands ten times in one day, gone back to check you locked the car three times in five minutes or been unable to concentrate on what the teacher was saying because he didn't rub ALL the chalk off the board near the edges ... then you'll totally understand this :)". Yep, CDO.

or been unable to concentrate on what the teacher was saying because he didn't rub ALL the chalk off the board near the edges . then you'll totally understand this :)

"If I give you a nice big straw will you go suck the fun out of someone else's day?" Sayings & Quotes

my patience ran out. now who do i punch? haha

K to T-"One day my patience will run out, and I will stab you. In the face. Very hard." Jaime-"I think you normally punch people in the face.

G

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