The Defibrillator Toaster. My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEP BEEP! DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”    This is the best - oh my God:    He’s bread, Jim.    (Anyone get the Star Trek reference?)

The Defibrillator Toaster. My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEP BEEP! DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” This is the best - oh my God: He’s bread, Jim. (Anyone get the Star Trek reference?)

Hahaha...this is totally me! I love to walk fast and hit the elliptical, but mercy I hate to run! ~bzb

I never run with scissors...

Hahaha...this is totally me! I love to walk fast and hit the elliptical, but mercy I hate to run! ~bzb

Okay, so it's not harry potter vs twilight, but {Peter pan is a billion times better then twilight. @Emily Schoenfeld Simmerock I know you're loving this @Abby Christine Silva Peter wasn't even that creepy about it. He just wanted to hear stories, not creep on girls roughly 90 years younger than him. Also, yes, loving this.

Dear Edward Cullen

Okay, so it's not harry potter vs twilight, but {Peter pan is a billion times better then twilight. @Emily Schoenfeld Simmerock I know you're loving this @Abby Christine Silva Peter wasn't even that creepy about it. He just wanted to hear stories, not creep on girls roughly 90 years younger than him. Also, yes, loving this.

FART BE GONE! Flatulence Deodorizer Pad, GOES IN UNDERWEAR, LET EM RIP!  Fart like a Mongoose.  I'm reposting this because its sooo darn funny.  I can't stop laughing.

FART BE GONE! Flatulence Deodorizer Pad, GOES IN UNDERWEAR, LET EM RIP! Fart like a Mongoose. I'm reposting this because its sooo darn funny. I can't stop laughing.

So, the next time you leave home for an extended period of time, be sure to tell a good joke, when you get back.  Just to be sure.

So, the next time you leave home for an extended period of time, be sure to tell a good joke, when you get back. Just to be sure.

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