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Colonel Sanders doesn't give a shit, and he's open on Sunday.

I've never been in there, but this shit has to stop by the time my kids are teenagers.

"I can't open this jar of pickles to save my life!!!"

Pinterest quotes, pinterest funny, pinterest humor ...You think she's kidding?? I definitely do this! (Nancie)

ohhhhhhhhh my oh my--there is a lot of truth in this little nugget; would we really say this? hmmmmm.

Good one!

hahaha

Ha, I have cooked many things from recipes found on Pinterest. I want my own button!

Lol!

:-)

sad, but true!

Yikes, it's true.

If I ever go missing, I would like my photo put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me.

Encouragement Ecards, Free Encouragement Cards, Funny Encouragement Greeting Cards at someecards.com

Troof!!

I really don't.

Troof!!

It would be great if you would schedule your social events around my mood swings.

So I heard they're naming a new paint color after you. It's called Whore Red. Not very bright, but it's cheap and spreads really easily.