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I wish you were a ken doll.so I could pop your legs off and beat you with them.

I wish it was socially acceptable to throw water balloons at people who annoy me. Like, I don't want to hurt you, but I do want to ruin your day.

Free, Somewhat Topical Ecard: I wish it was socially acceptable to throw water balloons at people who annoy me. Like, I don't want to hurt you, but I do want to ruin your day.

Shaving is literally my worst nightmare.....

Yeah, I’d shave my legs for you. Maybe.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sometimes, my inner black woman comes out and says 'Aww Hellll Nah'.

Hahaha this is the inner black woman I tell my daughter about that lives inside of me . not only do I have her attitude and head bob, I have her black booty in my white body too!

Ecard humor

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Some mornings I wake up and think, yep, todays the day I punch someone square in the throat.

Its a misconception that men are stronger than women. Womer are the real strong ones.

its so true, guys are such babies when they are sick but when you feel bad they want to tell you how they never complain< and you know what I've also been having a cold this whole time I literally shed the lining of one of my internal organs.

Middle finger

Another chance? Sorry, Im fresh out of chances. But I have this big middle finger that has been on back order for you.got someone perfect in mind for this!

You just sang that in your head, didn't you?

Dori Just Keep Swimming Cheer bow white with glitter details

Bahahaha. That's great!! Hey you. Mr. Impatient Ecard

Save the Whining for your Momma

And this is why our 6 year old does not throw temper tantrums, shows respect ("yes/no sir/ma'am") and has manners ("yes/no thank you" or "yes/no please"). Demonstrate to them NOW so they can and will grow up to be a respectable adult. Tough love, baby. Works like a charm.

Funny Family Ecard: A time out?it's called a spanking. Go on. Act a fool.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: 'I have enough clothes and shoes, I don't need to go shopping', said no woman ever.

eCard--"I have enough clothes and shoes, I don't need to go shopping", said no women ever. So true

Ron Swanson’s Words of Wisdom Poster – Treat Yo Self to 30 of Parks & Recreation’s funniest Swanson’isms

Ron Swanson’s Words of Wisdom Poster, inspired by Parks and Rec (36” x 24”)

- x poster with vivid colors - 30 of Parks and Recreations’ best Swanson’isms. - Poster is printed on high quality paper stock with satin cover, glossy finish. - Exclusively available fro

It seems to be impossible for me to get out of Target without spending $100--even when I go in for "just one thing".  :/

Whoever said money can't buy happiness has clearly never been to target.

Ecard - running motivation funny card

funny quotes ecards running with you clown chasing us bloody knife margaritas finish line

Hahahahaha!! My family seriously says something every time I see them..."How are you still alive?!"

hahahahahahah my life. OMG this is funny Why is this so funny? This made me laugh haha seriously!