Sleeping is MY drug my bed is is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.omg this is an everyday affair for me
Funny pictures about The Biggest Lie Ever. Oh, and cool pics about The Biggest Lie Ever. Also, The Biggest Lie Ever photos.
Tonight my husband and I went to Newks. I look over at him and a mosquito is sucking his left cheek. I tenderly with love slap his face. I say mosquito because it really was! I so thought of this quote!
People laugh at sarcasm! But I am funny!
Except Uggs were designed to be made for surfers to wear to the beach. Love the Uggs with short shorts.
lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee. - the truth of all of my mornings.
story of my life. That awkward moment when everyone else quit laughing 10 minutes ago, but you can't stop.
Funny christmas quotes - what are your wishes this year? For more funny quotes visit www.
I'm going to make this part of our daily morning prayer. Dear God, please keep your hand over my mouth. I'll read verses about the tongue.
I don't like morning people. or mornings. or people. Made me laugh, but I actually like all of these things.
I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.
I was just thinking yesterday - does anyone else sing the alphabet or am I a dumbass? Nope, I sing too
I Hope You Step on a LEGO
A threat worse than death. These things hurt.
When you accidentally hurt your pet and you're like, "OHMYGOSH, I'm so sorry!" and they walk away so you run after them like, "LET ME LOVE YOU!" Yep, I do this all the time.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says Just Kidding. Seriously, what's up with that?