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Drug of choice

Sleeping is MY drug my bed is is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.omg this is an everyday affair for me

Wait... people don't actually read the things they're agreeing to?? Lol

Funny pictures about The Biggest Lie Ever. Oh, and cool pics about The Biggest Lie Ever. Also, The Biggest Lie Ever photos.

yay now I have a reason to slap people!

Tonight my husband and I went to Newks. I look over at him and a mosquito is sucking his left cheek. I tenderly with love slap his face. I say mosquito because it really was! I so thought of this quote!

It's a little true.

People laugh at sarcasm! But I am funny!

for that dumb bitch on the third floor who talked to loud on her cell phone!

Except Uggs were designed to be made for surfers to wear to the beach. Love the Uggs with short shorts.

Oh this is me to much effort when you have a broken leg boo hoo!!!!

lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee. - the truth of all of my mornings.

Can't stop laughing

story of my life. That awkward moment when everyone else quit laughing 10 minutes ago, but you can't stop.

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Funny christmas quotes - what are your wishes this year? For more funny quotes visit www.

A Woman: Easy No Sew Fleece Blanket Edging

I'm going to make this part of our daily morning prayer. Dear God, please keep your hand over my mouth. I'll read verses about the tongue.

someday when we are 90 or so after the retirement age stopped being raised for the "worker bees" we might be able to sleep in.....But by then we won't be able to sleep.....T

I don't like morning people. or mornings. or people. Made me laugh, but I actually like all of these things.

the only 2 reasons i listen to voicemails.. 1. if i don't know the number. 2. to get rid of the icon on the screen

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

lol i do it.

I was just thinking yesterday - does anyone else sing the alphabet or am I a dumbass? Nope, I sing too

That hurts sooo much!

I Hope You Step on a LEGO

A threat worse than death. These things hurt.

I didn't mean to hurt you!

When you accidentally hurt your pet and you're like, "OHMYGOSH, I'm so sorry!" and they walk away so you run after them like, "LET ME LOVE YOU!" Yep, I do this all the time.

.. that's when i pull out a good book and say "oh well!" :)

I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says Just Kidding. Seriously, what's up with that?

Sometimes....

One pinner commented: "I'd prefer tired.

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