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If the ocean was made of vodka and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up, but since the ocean isn't vodka and I'm not a duck, just hand me the bottle and shut the f**k up.

@Lauren Davison Davison Davison Davison Fernandez made an e card special for me. Because I'm awesome. [vodka]

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50 Amazing Women, 50 Hilarious Quotes

Vodka is kind of a hobby. -Betty White

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Hakuna Ma'VODKA!!

Hakuna Ma' Vodka: It means no memory for the rest of your day. The Lion King meets drinking. Funny picture. Things for a laugh.

If I didn't drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2am? That's me!! Right @Jackie Evans-Moser ?

For fuck's sake...I can't handle the amount of stupid that's presenting itself to me today. #ecards


The way my life works…