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HAHA! If this was the case, I think women would get progressively skinnier during pregnancy.

dear god, the pain.

Plus a put away button. Laundry takes up half my day!

My favorite thing about camping is when I don't. | Trips And Getaways Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: Thanks to Pinterest when I win the lottery I'll be prepared to show my new real estate agent, stylist, and personal chef exactly what I want.

I've decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!!

its almost uncontrollable... And I need to consider the same when writing my own. Maybe that question is the qualifier.

"When I grow up, I want to be a Nail Polish Namer." Ha! It would be quite the job...

"You say you'll be here between noon and five?" ... "Great, I'll be sure to pay mybill sometime between May and July!!" - This is how it should work.

I am grateful I graduated before the era of high tech cell phones. When someone with the maturity of most teenagers is given access to that kind of technology all the time combined with the internet (and then the internet occasionally leading to things like TOSH.o and other shows) the potential for mass humiliation is very high.

Concentrated Awesome!! A phrase I will be sharing with a few of my vertically challenged young men at Bellevue Middle School. The smallest ones have the biggest attitudes.