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it also helps if you remember your phone in the first place

I Can Relate: Checking your phone to see what time it is, and then checking again because you weren't paying attention the first time. I do this ALL THE TIME!

I am a short person, and it stinks :(

Activities To Help With Stress

I was complaining about this in my friends car the other day, but she has the tall people problem and can't see the road if the visor is down haha we are totally opposite in stature.it's funny :)

Yep that's me EVERY day

I do this every night. Also I wake up in the middle of the night, I calculate how much MORE sleep I have before my alarm goes off .

Just saying

It takes real skill to choke on air, fall up stairs and trip over completely nothing. I have that skill! Funny but true!

#Funny #Quotes #humor … Best Most Funniest Quotes collection #ROFL

Top 13 Best Funny Quotes

"I'm sorry, I can't today because. I am totally going to start using excuses like this when I can't do things due to my health.

Hmmmm......tells you something!

The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in That means it only took 100 years for men to realize their brain is also important.

LoL

Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.

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Quote: "A friend told me that I was delusional. I almost fell off my unicorn." I'm sorry - but I find this so funnY!

always with people from high school you don't want to talk to... Lol

This is so me . at the grocery store, walmart or pretty much anywhere on the weekends running errands.

I hate when it's dark and my brain is like, "hey, you know what we haven't thought about in a while, Monsters." ~ Joke All You Can jokeallucan.blogspot.com

I did this the other weekend.except replace "monsters" with "zombies." Someone was shooting off and I thought, "What if those are rifles? What if it's zombies?" This is why I choose not to watch scary movies! :) I've got "scary" covered.

Don't be jealous

I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but.I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

Million dollars

I told my friend "before I die I want my last words to be 'I left a million dollars under the." I said "One minute, I have to die first." He said "oh, okay. How long will that take?" I replied "not really sure.

This is exactly why my husband and I never did santa etc. with our kids.

When your parents accuse you of lying to them, just remind them -The Easter Bunny, Toothfairy, & Santa Claus !

www.SkinnyMs.com

52 Inspirational Goodnight Quotes with Beautiful Images

Funny pictures about Dear sleep. Oh, and cool pics about Dear sleep. Also, Dear sleep.

Whenever a bird shits on my car...

Yes, my baby birds died.but I couldn't help but giggle at this. Baby birds don't poop on cars, only in the nest :)