I did for him for so long while being abused and used and cutoff emotionally... but love was not returned when "I" really needed it and deserved it...in those times the man I "thought" I had married had left the room leaving behind a self absorbed narcissist morphing into a sociopath.
The proverbial "leap of faith" is actually the size of a mustard seed. Keep going. And by the way, look at St. Augustine. Don't become disheartened that you made bad choices in the past; make the best choice you ever made by turning to the Lord-- watch as the Lord, through the Sacraments, reorients your life and puts a lot of broken pieces back together.