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Jim Gaffigan has a new show on TV Land (aptly titled ‘The Jim Gaffigan Show’). To celebrate, here are a few classic one-liners and jokes from the long-time comedian. [h/t chive] Previously: 18 Funny Mitch Hedberg Quotes

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A bunch of burn outs.

Jim Gaffigan is the best! "Have you tried the hot pocket hot pocket? It's a hot pocket filled with a hot pocket. Tastes just like a hot pocket. I'm gonna stick my head in the microwave.

INGENIOUS ADVERTISING. Aaaaand hilarious!

Funny pictures about Clever Colgate Ad Campaign. Oh, and cool pics about Clever Colgate Ad Campaign. Also, Clever Colgate Ad Campaign photos.

and always on the holidays

This commercial is so sad I cannot watch and I do exactly that have to change the channel every time! I wish people weren't jerks to animals!

Bahahaha!!! Dammit I miss this show. Whose Line Is It Anyway Compilation

Whose Line Is It Anyway. God I LOVE this show. Fond memories of a family holiday to Florida when we all watched it together

Every time.

This is totally me, target without kids is like my mini vacation

This is seriously the funniest compilation of the shows! Hahahahaha

Funny pictures about Girls from Toddlers and Tiaras telling the truth. Oh, and cool pics about Girls from Toddlers and Tiaras telling the truth. Also, Girls from Toddlers and Tiaras telling the truth.

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