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Things I say while I’m driving…

@jordanlfj's photo: "Hi I'm Jordan and I have road rage since iv moved to the city, I'm also the worst back seat driver ever. People seriously need to learn how to effin drive!!! Like, fuck! I'm 183636388238x worse than this pic though lol. #meh#dumbdrivers#gtfofftheroad#driving#roadrage#truth#theworst"

it's not cellulite, it's my body's way of saying "i'm sexy"...in braille

I totally do this when there is junk food in my house. Right now I'm working on getting rid of my Dove Salty Carmel Dark Chocolate nuggets.