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    cute brother shot

    shives photo shoot

    I'm starting to think our moms aren't organizing these playdates for our benefit.

    The reason I encouraged you to have kids was so that I could leave mine at your place for 'play dates.' See ya, sucker!

    Let's arrange a playdate so we can hang out and ignore our children together.

    I don't care how mature you are... A little toot in Happy Baby position is fun for the whole yoga class.

    I would be more inclined to grow up if I saw that it worked out for everyone else.

    I'm glad we locked down our friendship during childhood since meeting each other today would be a disaster.

    Funny Confession Ecard: I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.

    I plan on being the first person to eat as much crap as I want and still have an amazing body! Not really having much luck with that.

    I wish cake went straight to my boobs.

    Funny Thinking of You Ecard: Actually, I'm a pretty nice person, just a bitch when you're around.

    Funny Thinking of You Ecard: Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.

    Oh the people I wish I could say this to.

    I hate it when it's dark and my brain is like, 'Hey you know what we haven't thought about in a while, MONSTERS.'

    I hope you don't choke on a Chick-fil-A sandwich and the only person who knows CPR is gay.

    I keep an active gym membership for the free 2 hours per day of daycare.

    I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.

    I'm Pinterested in you.

    :) Yep!

    Let's protest Chick-fil-A by watching men's synchronized diving.

    I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.

    Since kids get an ice cream truck.. can adults have a liquor truck?

    If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to in the beginning.