So many of these are my exact humor, you'd think I wrote them. This is hilarious!

So many of these are my exact humor, you'd think I wrote them. This is hilarious!

We should have a way of telling  people their breath   stinks without   hurting their   feelings like, "I'm  bored, lets go   brush your teeth!"

We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like, "I'm bored, lets go brush your teeth!"

friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans

friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans

♥Okay I know this is horrible to save but I couldn't stop laughing

♥Okay I know this is horrible to save but I couldn't stop laughing

If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!

If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!

My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but my sweat pants were like 'nah girl, you're good'.

My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but my sweat pants were like 'nah girl, you're good'.

I love him... and by love I mean 51% of the time I don't want to punch him in the throat. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

I love him... and by love I mean 51% of the time I don't want to punch him in the throat. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

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