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I 'm sorry, I can't save your life right now, I don't have you in our system, so I can't put any orders in just yet.

If you look to WebMD to investigate your symptoms you will come away convinced you are going to die.

You know you're overworked when you count going to the bathroom as taking a break. Don't I know it!

Oh, your Sisters best friends cousin is a nurse? Please, continue diagnosing me with your imaginary Medical Degree.

Cheers to discussing human dismemberment over a gourmet meal and having a totally warped sense of humor... Happy Nurses Week.

I would like water bottles (preferably pink) that don't melt in the dishwasher, thank you!

Haha. I get this because my mom works in a hospital. That shift change is a very important time in a patience life!

Standing at the nurses station will not make your discharge go faster and no, you can't have some morphine before you leave... Happy Nurses Week.

In true celebration of Nurses Week- May I present you the gifts of mandatory overtime, under-appreciation and a three minute lunch break?

We will inspect your ass, wipe your ass, & even stick our fingers in your ass. But remember, nurses are here to save your ass not kiss your ass! Happy Nurse's Week!

Percocet, Benadryl, and Ambien should do it.