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    Spider Monkeys Tore Me Apart! These aren't the Monkeys you could order from comic books...these are the vicious Red Shirt devouring kind.

    Red Shirted Women are like matadors...The color just makes EVERY animal attack.'s not Freudian...this happens all the time if you are a woman in a RED SHIRT!

    She's obviously the leader because Red Shirts are like rank indicators in armies of women.

    But mostly Snakes...Snakes HATE Red Shirted Women

    Horror-esque cover for Man's Life - "The diet that can double your sexual batting average!"

    This is what this guy does all day...he just waits for a call to haul wet women in Red Shirts out of water.

    Man's Life - "Bored housewives who hustle in self-service laundries!"

    Man's Life - "Adultery means murder!"

    Champion for Men - "Death crawled up my body"!

    pretty man

    Illicit Interlude - She was a strange woman, one who could yield her flesh to a man — and wish he were a woman.

    Man's Life - "Can we breed genius by sperm banks?"

    MAN'S LIFE, Sept. 1958. Cover by Wil Hulsey - by SubtropicBob, via Flickr

    Red Shirted Women can't stay away from tentacles, elephants or snakes....nothing Freudian in that, they're just unlucky.

    Snakes hate it when you don't button your Red Shirt of SIN!

    The Bell Jar