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Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, The Unicorns

Haha. A bunch of funny ones on here. Dear People of the World, I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Grammar

Hilarious letters to random things from random things!

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21 Funny Dear Blank, Please Blank Letters | Bored Panda

haha! By far the most unrealistic part too! (I hope you can tell this is sarcasm. If not, I worry about you)

Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic — Sapling Press on Etsy

Though it may be unacceptable, it is, in fact, the correct answer.