Learned my lesson. Took losing the 5 people that I love most, but I learned. That's not a good thing or me accepting what happened. It's me being mad at myself for being so stupid in the first place. You know like when you're watching yourself fucking something up, but you just can't stop screwing it all up? Yeah, that. I watched my life slip away and no amount of desperation or actions taken out of desperation could stop that train from coming.