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Hey Jennifer! lol

Who cares if the glass is half full or half empty. fill that bitch back up with vodka.

Wonder what kind of music the "liquor truck" would play going down the street. Techno?

Since kids get an ice cream truck. can adults have a liquor truck? With a great wine selection?

@Christy Wiens are langiage to a T and by that i mean i never mean what i say or say what i mean!

Funny Breakup Ecard: Good luck and take care. And by good luck I mean go fuck yourself. And by take care I mean go fuck yourself.

I about died laughing

Men are like pantyhose Either they run, they cling, or they don't fit right in the crotch.

hahaha! really though...

If whatever they do makes you change you status from "single" to "in a relationship" to "its complicated" 15 times in a day.

Dori Just Keep Swimming Cheer bow white with glitter details

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. You were to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent & a better dancer.. I saw the video.. We need to talk.

Funny Farewell Ecard: Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. You were to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent & a better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk.

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? | Birthday Ecard | someecards.com

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? That's about what it would take for me to attend a princess party.

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