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Oh, you're a baseball player? You just became ten times more attractive.

Oh, you're a baseball player? You just became ten times more attractive.

Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, 3 bedrooms away...while daddy snores next to you.

Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, 3 bedrooms away...while daddy snores next to you.

Actually, I like being pale. I don't need to look like a worn out leather handbag to feel good about myself.

Actually, I like being pale. I don't need to look like a worn out leather handbag to feel good about myself.

I'm proficient in 3 languages...English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

I'm proficient in 3 languages...English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

Rottenecards - Sometimes I feel unsure about myself, but then I  remember that I pushed a baby out of my vagina  and it occurs to me,  I'm a bad-ass bitch.

Rottenecards - Sometimes I feel unsure about myself, but then I remember that I pushed a baby out of my vagina and it occurs to me, I'm a bad-ass bitch.

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