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Funny Anniversary Ecard: Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say.

Funny Anniversary Ecard: Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say.

'Why can't we be friends?', Well, because you're three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket and I don't have time for a mess like you.

'Why can't we be friends?', Well, because you're three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket and I don't have time for a mess like you.

and this is why you won't see me without make-up. people always tell me i look tired. thanks jerk face.

and this is why you won't see me without make-up. people always tell me i look tired. thanks jerk face.

so funny! I went into a store and seriously asked the girl if they had shorts where my vagina did not hang out :) the lady laughed and said "I totally know what you mean"

so funny! I went into a store and seriously asked the girl if they had shorts where my vagina did not hang out :) the lady laughed and said "I totally know what you mean"

You ask your husband to do the dishes, he suddenly has to poop..Hahahaha!

You ask your husband to do the dishes, he suddenly has to poop..Hahahaha!

It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from 'this is the best day ever' to 'I want to stab every person on planet Earth.'

It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from 'this is the best day ever' to 'I want to stab every person on planet Earth.'

I'd love to talk but I'm in a hurry to get home so I can be alone.

I'd love to talk but I'm in a hurry to get home so I can be alone.

I think it's weird how somedays I feel skinny and somedays I feel like a busted can biscuits.

I think it's weird how somedays I feel skinny and somedays I feel like a busted can biscuits.

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