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Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest. DBSN.

Free and Funny News Ecard: Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.

When Mommy finally gets up to spank your butt, that's when you know... Shit just got real.

So, SO true. I remember when my Mom got off the couch, I had messed up.

Absolutely!

I'm not "trophy wife" material. I'm more of "participation ribbon" kind of gal.

https://some.ly/EQ8J4M5/

ENFP Funny Saying: I'm the kind of person who keeps calm under pressure and freaks out when everything is okay.

For real... And if you do it wrong I'm going to reload it before I run it!

Learn how to load the dishwasher! My bf says I must be good at tetris b/c I load the dishwasher so well.

e cards - Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

Unfortunately my daydreams about being skinny are always interrupted by the sound of my chewing

Hahaha! I would...

Many people do not look for the truth in Life, they only search for those that agree with them.

"Don't expect a 'Bless You' after the 5th sneeze. Get it under control."  Bahahahaha!!!

fact Gotta do what you gotta do. bahahaha yes! Random collection of funny photos from around the world Pics) — Bajiroo.

Yuck, I have almost broken my neck trying to flush with my foot.

Public toilet = flush with foot. I always use my foot to flush ALWAyS in public bathrooms

Funny Drinks/Happy Hour Ecard: Due to circumstances beyond my control...the BITCH in me has returned, and she is drunk.

Here's to the guys that love us, the losers that lost us, and the lucky bastards that get to meet us! haha bachlorette party toast for sure!

sarcasm in lieu of daily beatings...your choice...

Funny Confession Ecard: I use sarcasm because beating the crap out of people is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Don't let your affection give you an infection. Put some protection on that erection.

Free and Funny News Ecard: Don't let your affection give you an infection. Put some protection on that erection.

If i could use this to teach my students to remember to capitalize i would! I can't stop laughing!!

how about "helping your Uncle, Jack, off OF a horse" (improper use of capitalization for emphasis only). See, actual proper grammar and punctuation saves the day! But not as funny.

I wish I were brave enough to be this honest sometimes!

ya, I know this guy. I see those penis enlarging pills are working - you're a bigger dick today than you were yesterday

Things I'd like to say to the people I work with.

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: Would you like some sun? Cause you're shady as fuck.

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