But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work.
"...I noticed myself wishing that nothing loved me so I wouldn't feel obligated to keep existing. It's a strange moment when you realize that you don't want to be alive anymore. If I had feelings, I'm sure I would have felt surprised." Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two, by Allie Brosh
Why are you crying? "I don't know, it's just something that's happening." Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two, by Allie Brosh.
excuse the vulgarity, but this pretty much sums up everything that has been going on today. People say it is what it is. I say it be like that sometimes. Just gotta know when to cut all else off, and do YOU. If it's meant to be, it'll come. If not, you can't say you didn't try.