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Funny Friendship Ecard: I hate to tell you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing. Not at all.

Funny Friendship Ecard: I hate to tell you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing. Not at all.

Funny Apology Ecard: I do not spew profanities. I take my time and ennunciate them properly. After all, I'm a fucking lady.

Funny Apology Ecard: I do not spew profanities. I take my time and ennunciate them properly. After all, I'm a fucking lady.

All my friends are getting married and pregnant. I am just getting more awesome. #ChildFree #ChildFreeLife #Awesome

All my friends are getting married and pregnant. I am just getting more awesome. #ChildFree #ChildFreeLife #Awesome

Herd That Card http://shop.nylon.com/collections/whats-new/products/herd-that-card #NYLONshop

Herd That Card

Herd That Card http://shop.nylon.com/collections/whats-new/products/herd-that-card #NYLONshop

Actually, it's because I have old injuries from dance that makes it hurt to run, but this is a much more dramatic excuse.  Anybody want to go to aqua aerobics with me instead?

Actually, it's because I have old injuries from dance that makes it hurt to run, but this is a much more dramatic excuse. Anybody want to go to aqua aerobics with me instead?

Hey Mr. Impatient, how about you go down a water slide while it isn't wet. Maybe then you'll understand why foreplay is so important.

Hey Mr. Impatient, how about you go down a water slide while it isn't wet. Maybe then you'll understand why foreplay is so important.

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