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Amen!

Today's modern woman * Clean house * Healthy dinner on the table (at dinnertime) * Fit, trim & well-groomed * Works full time * Laundry done & put away * Great sex life * . pick any two

Murder, yes, but divorce, never.

"My wife Mary & I have been married for 47 years and not once have considered divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never" Jack Benny :)

: ) I love this! If only! Haha...

Dear Santa funny funny quotes humor christmas santa christmas quotes christmas quote christmas humor Linda Bauwin CARD-iologist Helping you create cards from the heart

Opinions.

36 of My Favorite Silly, Crazy or Funny Quotes For the Day

Goes along with, "Well don"t ask for my opinion if you don't want to hear it!

I AM  hilarious.  I wish I could charge for rides

but I AM hilarious! I crack me up all the time. If anyone ever puts a camera in here I will be put away for laughing at nothing all the time. I cry hard and I laugh hard.

.HAHA. my life.

Every time I go out in public and see people I know.

I wish more people practiced the art of "pretending". My world would be sooo.much better;

 Not never in Jesus Name

Sign for home minibar - The Officer Said, "You Drinking" I Said,"You Buying" We Just Laughed and Laughed. I Need Bail Money wood Sign Funny Alcohol Sign.

Sometimes you just can't stop lol

story of my life. That awkward moment when everyone else quit laughing 10 minutes ago, but you can't stop.

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Sarcasm falls out of my mouth quotes quote lol funny quote funny quotes humor sarcasm stupidity humorous. (that was totally worth the laugh I just had)

And even then mine is pretty thin! Lol

Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.it's also what teachers have when there are witnesses.

Love you and everything you do for me and everyone momma

What moms REALLY want for Mother's Day from their kids. i dont drink wine, but this is funny!

I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.

Irrational fear.

"I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day." Oh my gosh. This is so me. I thought I was the only one!

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Hell hath not fury like your kid catching you throwing away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord. Or your husband.just sayin'.

All the time!

Story of my life! Autopilot driving isn't safe -- oh well!

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