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Your kind, nurturing and gentle mom is off shift at 9pm. I suggest you get your ass to bed before her replacement- AngryBitchyMommy- arrives.

Kind, nurturing, gentle mom shift ends really at and at you better be in bed or else!

I have a constant internal battle about whether to be classy or give zero fucks.   On the daily

Funny Confession Ecard: I have a constant internal battle about whether to be classy or give zero fucks.

Haha....yes so true !

"Some people come into your life as a blessing. other people come into your life as a lesson. Those people are better known as douchebags." BAHAHAHA Oh so true.

Home is where you can say anything you want because nobody listens to you anyway.    somecards

Funny Family Ecard: Home is where you can say anything you want because nobody listens to you anyway.

Toddlers getting their hair washed and an exorcism sound strangly alike

Maybe not right away. I mean, this does qualify as one of the only two acceptable reasons to run.

True Story, bro.

If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die. HAHAH My husband told me this yesterday. He yelled RUN SAVE YOURSELF and i looked back to see what we were running from first! He said running is your death trap uummm yup

Sorry I'm so honest

"Some things are better left unsaid. That's usually the stuff I blurt out right away". I have no filter

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. And the answer is YES!

Yes!  Hubby best remember this...  and my use to be best friend carolyn!

Oh, I don't believe in holding grudges. I do, however, remember facts forever.learning to let go but this is too funny & indicative of the past

I dont have a "honey-do" list...

so true! Funny Confession Ecard: I don't have a 'honey-do' list. I have a 'I'll freaking do it myself' list. And guess what? Shit gets done.

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