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Hurry up and clean the house! We don't want people to think we actually live the way we actually live!

I just want someone to love me for the horrific, raging, emotionally unpredictable bitch that I am. Ha ha ha thank God for Chuck

Funny Confession Ecard: Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. 'Look at this bitch eating those crackers like she owns the place.'

Funny Confession Ecard: According to my Pinterest boards I should be a 300 lb alcoholic who really likes crafts.