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If this doesn't say it all...

Lesson in Womanhood: "You are only helpless while your nail polish is wet. Even then, you could pull a trigger if you had to.

this is why @Bre'onna Hamilton believes in retail therapy. lol.

Paint on closet wall to always remember after some major retail therapy: "Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist"

this is not always a good thing, as i've learned over the years - but i just can't stop.

I stay fat because it would not be fair to all the thing people if I were this good looking, intelligant, funny AND thing. It's a public service really. SO true!

its so true lol

Funny pictures about Without my cell phone. Oh, and cool pics about Without my cell phone. Also, Without my cell phone.

forget the coffee, I'll take water if i could just be "politely ignored"!

Perfect Job: Diet Coke AND coffee! With little to NO interaction with people and I don't actually have to work.

With xtra shot of vodka

I'll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please! Somedays this sounds like the perfect drink! Roy - new drink?

from Isabella & Max Rooms

Funny christmas quotes - what are your wishes this year? For more funny quotes visit www.

Dear God... All I ask is one chance to prove to you that winning the lottery won't make me a bad person... :D  haha

Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: It's true money can't buy happiness, but I'd cheer up much faster while sitting poolside in a loungechair outside of my oceanfront mansion.

Fifty

Fifty Shades Of Funny: The Best Of The 50 Shades Of Grey E-Cards

Fifty Shades Of Funny: The Best Of The 50 Shades Of Grey (good thing I havent read it!

This is my life.

Some people have been offended as I have told them this - well I used a different word than stupid but I don't sugarcoat that it was their bad decision that got them into trouble. I have made too many bad decisions to tiptoe around now.

:D -Which is why many people find life so hard....so stop be stupid...this goes for me too.

John Wayne Quote (Not Mine)

Cowboy Logic: "Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." John Wayne (The Duke)-----gotta love him. And my logic, just because you wear a hat does not make you a cowboy!

Oh my god!!! I totally thought this same exact saying and punch line when I was pumping the other day!  I thought I was all funny for coming up with it. Guess I'm not original ;)

A Funny Mom Quotes --> truth. definitely okay to cry over spilled breastmilk

Insurance Companies MOA and then that department might transfer you and then you might get disconnected so let me give you another number to call if that happens. Prior Authorization Run Around

My experience with "customer service" every time.There should be a law requiring insurance companies to answer the phone this way.

8. But this doesn't mean we don't have a few 'eccentric' family members.

15 Things You MUST Know About Dating Someone From North Carolina

Here in the South, we don't hide crazy. We parade it on the front porch and give it a cocktail. -- I think I should live in the South

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