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I used to tell this joke all the time when I subbed at an elementary school. Most kids didn't get it, but I could always hear the teacher's aids snickering. :)

This was me last week when Brian came into the room while I was putting green felt on top of red balloons & making black marks on them to make them look like strawberries for Annabeth's Strawberry Shortcake birthday party! They turned out great BTW :)

80% of my conversations with others occur inside my head. someecards

Cannibalism at its very best. Done. Thank you Pinterest and thank YOU Someecards. You're welcome for the custom angle.

Your ability to weave in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed and end up as the car in front of me at the red light is amazing!

I'm my own biggest fan. I'm going to repin all my pins just to double the awesome.

I'd tell you the real reason that I was late but every time I say, 'I am a procrastinator with poor time management skills,' it makes me feel bad.

I've actually said this before...to both the husband and the 6 year old.

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things.