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omg...hahah yes

honestly, it's literally the deciding factor for most events i'm invited to.

Lol

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: You're ridiculous. And by that I mean, we are going to best friends.

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? | Birthday Ecard | someecards.com

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? That's about what it would take for me to attend a princess party.

No lunch for me. I'm on a new diet called, 'I have Five Dollars till Friday.'

food budget before kids: buy ALL the food! food budget after kids: well maybe I can just buy of the food and exist on crackers

I cant count how many times Ive been through this one...

I cant count how many times Ive been through this one.

My mom always said I'd get worms, not salmonella. But, I've been doing it for almost 40 years, and I've never gotten either.

This is my philosophy right there. Same goes for cookie dough. I will buy packages of cookie dough and just eat it, don't even bake cookies. It drives my fiance crazy.

(funny,funny stuff,lol,lolsotrue,true story,so true,i can relate,bitch)

yep i know alot of people who think they are just being sarcastic but are really just a bitch lol

On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I've enjoyed annoying you all this time & how excited I am to keep doing so in the future.

Funny Anniversary Ecard: On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I've enjoyed annoying you all this time & how excited I am to keep doing so in the future.

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