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exactly why I don't have one anymore!

seriously, act like you are going to remember to read that

'Wow, that Lean Cuisine really filled me up', said no one ever.

Go ahead and act like mom of the year on facebook, but don't forget some of us know you in real life.

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I wish Kristen Stewart was in this movie... ...said no one ever.

I lose track of how many times a day I'd like to turn to someone and say 'you can't seriously be this freaking stupid!'

Think before you hashtag, people. Also, hashtags mean nothing on Facebook so stop it.

Nobody cares you're "at the gym" or "taking a shower." This is Facebook, not your AIM away message from 1998. ecard

I wish fire trucks and ambulances played 'Move Bitch, Get Out The Way' instead of using sirens.