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1) Push to open. 2) Push to open 3) Push to open 4) STAB TO DEATH. This is sooooo true.

I don't always vacuum but when I do 90% of the time is spent trying to suck up something big enough I can do it with my hands

OMG so true I panic every time good thing it does not happen a lot hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

If people could read my mind, Id get punched in the face a lot.

oh that pissed me off alright, I think this was the start of all my anger problems X~p

i-am-only-a-morning-person-on-christmas-funny-quotes.jpg 620×717 pixels

Dear God! No more online dating photos of shirtless straight men taking self-portraits in their bathroom mirrors, please! Is that really necessary?

....Or a log of your ailments or children's bowel movements.

You're making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be. | Family Ecard |

Welcome to 27: Where every other weekend is a wedding, you feel borderline inappropriate shopping in Forever 21, and two drinks equal a hangover.

  • Jordan Parker

    Bama Leigh yes, except it's baby showers instead of weddings haha

  • Danielle Wroblewski

    This will be me this year lol

  • Liz Frink

    I'm 40 and I still shop at Forever 21...and Charlotte Rousse...and Express...

  • Radeyah Muhammad

    Welcome to 28 where once a month your fb newsfeed explodes with friends announcing pregnancies, when girls nights out end at 11 because everyone's exhausted, and your idea of a ragin' Friday night includes Netflix, a deep conditioner, and a mega glass of wine.

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