Quotes: "Oh, honey, you have gone beyond #muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits!"

Quotes: "Oh, honey, you have gone beyond #muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits!"

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who cant take care of himself.

I love when someone puts a long complaint as their status update and you ask if they're ok and they reply, 'inbox me.' I'm sorry, was this private?

I love when someone puts a long complaint as their status update and you ask if they're ok and they reply, 'inbox me.' I'm sorry, was this private?

The forecast for today calls for boob sweat of epic proportions.

The forecast for today calls for boob sweat of epic proportions.

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this... I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat... and can't dance.

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this... I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat... and can't dance.

Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. That's like shooting someone then telling them to not bleed.  #someecards

Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. That's like shooting someone then telling them to not bleed. #someecards

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