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I do not want to brag, or make anyone jealous our anything, but I can still fit into my earrings that I wore in high school!

the only 2 reasons i listen to voicemails.. 1. if i don't know the number. 2. to get rid of the icon on the screen

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

That awkward moment when you spell a common word correctly....

Funny pictures about When you spell a common word correctly. Oh, and cool pics about When you spell a common word correctly. Also, When you spell a common word correctly.

Just saying :)

It is quotes like this who have my husband double guessing what I really mean, When I say "What?" I mean "What?" Maybe I'm not wired like most women, but I mean what I say and I say what I mean, the first time.

I went to a gym once. I got on this walking thing, and water started coming off my body, and my heart was pounding, and then some skinny blonde bitch told me I had to take my heels off.  I got the hell out of there.

Everytime I hear that dirty word EXERCISE, I wash my mouth out with CHOCOLATE.just kidding but I do love chocolate

I think everyone with a man in their life can relate to this!

Every day I fall in love with you more & more.well, not every day yesterday you were pretty annoying! LOL cute lil' pack of gum & funny gag gift!

Hate to say this happens all the time...

Story of my life! Autopilot driving isn't safe -- oh well!

Love, Mom

One day, when I am a mother, I will replace "put away your laundry" with many things and put these all over the house. Also, maybe a few that say "love, your wife.

:) posted this on Duane's facebook because he didn't even know the words to twinkle twinkle. Little star lol

So my husband free styling All the time lol

shit that blows just makes me LOL saying it :)

shit- that blows; when your skinny friend says she feels fat and you're just standing there. all fat.

#lawyer #humor - come over to my side, the view is so clear from here

Be on His side of the argument and the view is always clear!

so true.

Is this true, ladies? Is there a secret stash of cookies? Break them bad boys out cause I want me a cookie!

never done this...... ok yeah I have... A LOT

Pet Peeve I think my son and my husband both do this. As a matter of fact I know they do. Ive been in the car with Patrick where he will tell people he is further along in the drive than we really are.

fun, funny, ironic, good mood switch on, lol, when you need something to turn instantly your lips upwards. Smile like there's no tomorrow :-D

if I had a nickel for every time my phone auto corrected 'shit' into 'shut' I would have 16 nickels

Lol it happens

I try to take life one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me all at once. This is how I'm feeling today! Word for word.

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