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  • Anne Riley

    Success is like pregnancy... I went " oh, no..." and laughed at the same time

  • Angela Pine

    Funny quote on success

  • Sydney

    Success is like pregnancy.. True story.

  • Heather Billings

    Success is like pregnancy. I almost spit my coffee! So funny, so true.

  • Rusty Fox

    Success is like many times you got fucked to achieve it.... ecard Adult jokes adult humor sex jokes sex humor dirty jokes dirty humor R rated R Naughty jokes Naughty humor funny hilarious LOL

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Some of the best Jim Gaffigan quotes.

I don't want to kill myself, I honestly mean it. But sometimes, well, kinda often, I would like to shoot my Brain. He's kind of, well, a d**k.

I laughed a little too much at this.

Dressing up like the characters from Mario Cart and hitting the go cart track. :)

reading this in class and trying not to laugh out loud..

If only I could show some pins to people at literally any given second to show them how stupid they are... This would be one of the most frequently used

I named my hard drive 'That Ass' so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back 'That Ass' up. #LuLz

Hahahaaa. I LOVE this story, and my 19 year old daughter does, too. One of my last real "discussions" in the classroom involved a statement I made about having to "get out the sewing machine last night"..... A student (several) thought I was just being stupid (Science-fictiony) w/them... Had NEVER seen or heard of a sewing machine..... and we're in GEORGIA.....

I seriously died laughing when I watched this one - Ellen is so funny on her own but the two of them together were hysterical!!!!

Looks exactly like the one at my old office... I wish I would've thought of this!