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from iwastesomuchtime.com

Carpet Alarm Clock.

Carpet Alarm Clock - how we'd all turn it off. Just fling ourselves off our beds first thing in the morning.

The Defibrillator Toaster : Every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” --i pinned this simply for the description.

"Tired of paying $9 for a beer at the ball park? $10 for a glass of Chardonnay at the opera? what if your boobs could solve that expensive problem for you. Guess what? Now, they can! With the Wine Rack Drinking Bladder Apparatus your “A” cups can become “D”elicious cups of your favorite beverages. This comfortable easy to wear “bra” comes with equipped with 2 bladders that can hold up to 25 ounces" HAHA