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i don't hate my job. but i suppose the support group wouldn't hurt any.

SUREEEE, WE KNOW ALL KINDS OF OTHER INFO, BUT WE JUST DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU AND ITS A SECRET ....

No I don't know their baby momma name or blood type. Actually standby, let me look into my crystal ball

Answers every Retail worker wants to give

Dispatch: Where pressing the "start" button on a microwave can trigger catastrophe.

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can't sleep. Its called Insom-nom-nom-nia.

You did the right thing by calling 911 at 3am for your tooth that has hurt for a week. You probably would have died before your doctor's office opened.

911 toothache-You did the right thing by calling 911 at for your tooth that has hurt for a week. You probably would have died before your doctor's office opened at I hate paging out those kind of calls

With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.

Vivien Leigh as Scarlett Ohara. I think this expression/scene was the ultimate Scarlett moment and really showed Vivien Leighs talent. In a second, she transformed from scared to THIS. Im a hot sexy bitch who doesnt care what you think.

Can make life saving decisions in an instant.  30 minutes to decide what I want for lunch.

24 Pics That Will Make You Smile

Can make life saving decisions in an instant. 30 minutes to decide what I want…

I'm hilarious

It makes me laugh every time. I am that damn funny. Damn it I am