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Literal lyrics definitely laughed at this one

Oh you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg and now my body is violently ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

An example of a joke on the English Language word sound-a-like phrases. Please know that these are a serious hurdle to the interpreter and D/deaf people since an message basis is on hearing the sounds of the words. The bane of my existence.

My mom texted to her sisters "I was going to ask you what it was like to have the most amazing sister ever, but then I realized, I already know."

Why don't we just go on Pinterest? *two hours later* "RIGHT! I'm going to work now!" brain: But how about INSTAGRAM *half an hour later* "OKAY. NO PROCRASTINATING!" brain: BUT HOW ABOUT THAT MANGA YOU'RE READING? OR THOSE FANFICTIONS YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF?! *7 PM at night* GOSHDAMNIT WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING WORK?!

Gilmore Girls, Scandal, Parks and Recreation, New Girl, One Tree Hill and Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

When my sister and I are together, we basically speak exclusively on movie quotes.

When mothers can’t remember your name…