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Yup this is me.I got a FedEx delivery dude to kill a spider for me cuz I'm like not taking the risk of it coming at me.soooo not cool when spiders come at u.

This is important information | How Do It

Bride and Groom some cards, And do you solemnly swear to protect me from spiders as long as we both shall live/ wedding vows, spider memes

Everyone I know is getting engaged and I'm just over here watching say yes to the dress and planning my pretend wedding on pinterest.

LOL I do like yes to the dress on occasion and I'm not really planning a wedding as much as "wee pretty things!", but this is funny.

I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure the kids took it.

"I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure the kids took it." - YOUR ECARDS - funny

Dori Just Keep Swimming Cheer bow white with glitter details

Sometimes

That moment when you walk out of work! From movie Ace Ventura

Funny Baby Ecard: Silence is golden, unless you have a preschooler. Then, silence is very suspicious.

Funny Baby Ecard: Silence is golden, unless you have a preschooler or a puppy. Then, silence is very suspicious.

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play.. 'Drop it like it's hot'.

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play: "Drop it Like It's Hot". And if you could have Snoop sing it, that would be awesome!

SERIOUSLY

Child: "Mom, can I have a candy?" Mom: "Did you brush your teeth?" Child: "Not yet" Mom: "No, then you can't have candy." (Child leaves room and finds Dad)Child: "Dad, can I have candy?" Dad: "Yes.

Most of the jerks happen to be my family! hahaha I love this #cheatinguno

You never really know someone until you play UNO with them and that jerk hits you with a Draw Four. This is how card games are when you play with my family. My mom is deadly!

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