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I'm going to juice all of these delicious organic vegetables. then add Vodka Don't judge.

sub in scrapbook paper for cheap wine and you've got yourself  a true story there. I knew it wasn't my fault.

I wish my house wasn't such a disaster all of the time, but folks won't quit writing books and making cheap wine. who the heck crawled in my head, and read my thoughts?

For those that can't get through an average day at the office..

The good thing about water is that you can have it in your workplace. Now, what's special about VODKA is that it looks like water.I don't drink but this is funny

Well that wouldn't be awkward at all...

When aww cute goes to ohhh no...

Free, Reminders Ecard: Wishing your pets could talk is fun until you remember everything you've ever done in front of your pets.

LOVE

Cheers I don't drink to forget my problems. I drink to celebrate the fact that I survived them!

and the answer is always yes...

Funny Weekend Ecard: Being asked if I want another drink is like being asked if I want money.

So true...it's never just one!!! And Hell no we won't stay home!!

Funny Friendship Ecard: Its too bad that, even at our age, were not mature enough to meet for A drink because it will somehow turn into 7 drinks, 5

I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it's not there to tempt me anymore. story of my lifeeee

I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it's not there to tempt me anymore. This is so me! Problem is I buy more when its gone!

trust me when i woke up today i had no plans to be so....

Trust me, when I woke today I had no plans to be so sexy, but shit happens

and corned beef & cabbage, soda bread, green beer ...

Patricks day is like Valentines day for people who love Jameson and bad decisions. Like us.<--------------- I am very proud to be Irish

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? | Birthday Ecard | someecards.com

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? That's about what it would take for me to attend a princess party.

Congratulations about being one of the "cool" kids in high school...

So exactly how i feel about people from high school! Congratulations on being one of the 'cool' kids in high school. Too bad about the rest of your life though.

Funny Friendship Ecard: I hate to tell you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing. Not at all.

I can't stand when people give me crap for not being "curvy".last time I checked, I definitely had curves- boobs and hips.I'm just missing fat rolls, apparently!

My dream has always been to become a stay At home mum without the kids.

Funny Confession Ecard: My dream has always been to become a stay at home mom. Without kids.*** DID THAT!