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No, I dont need help with the dishes! I enjoy being in the kitchen a little longer after cooking a meal for the entire family.

No, I don't need help with the dishes! I enjoy being in the kitchen a little longer after cooking a meal for the entire family. I feel this way ALL the time!

Hahahahahah this is awesome!! And yes, this is something I would say to my husband!

Post with 1420 votes and 840251 views. The battle in my head everyday

Every Monday I start a new diet, and every Friday, I find myself having this conversation.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Dear Diet, Things just aren't going to work between us. It's not me, it's you. You're tasteless, boring & I can't stop cheating on you.

Admit it, you should be doing something else important right now... but you came on Pinterest instead.

Pretty much, like my math homework. It is always the math homework!

You my dear, are the Muthafuckin Shit.

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a Punishment. Now as a Mom, Nap Time Feels like I Won a Vacation!

Haha I've got the cat and dog! No mice thank goodness!  Lol

I had a cinderella party.lucky for me my parents set it up as a princess party.however, with this genius idea, if i have a daughter and she wants to have a cinderella party.

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

At least you can turn out the porch light to avoid the candy snatchers!

Jehovah’s witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween….I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.

seriously, bothers me on a daily basis.

Yes! Drives me crazy! I say this all of the freakin' time. What the hell? 2 kids live alone and Grandma lives down the street.

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