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I hate it when a friend is visiting my house and asks, 'Do you have a bathroom?' I feel like saying, 'Nope. We shit out back in the yard.'

One day i will say this with a complete straight face and then i will make them go outside and shit then i will tell them i really do have a bathroom and then run like a crazy person…


I have watched CSI, NCIS, Cold Case, Law and Order, Criminal Minds House MD and Special Victims Unit I can kill you 50 ways and make it look like an accident and don't forget about Snapped!

lol. True of most weeks

12 Valentine's Day E-Cards You Wish You Could Send To Your Ex

I deserve a medal for making it through this week without stabbing someone with a fork - sometimes this is a daily statement. Finals week is here!

Love it when kids say EWWWWW, I pushed you out of my vagina covered inm y inside YOU are EWWWWW

The Joke’s on Mom

I love it when I do something and my kid goes "ewwwwww mommy". Um child - I pushed you out of my vagina covered with all my insides. You are "eww".