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Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.

Funny Confession Ecard: Nothing brightens up a room like your absence. Now that would be a sad card to receive.

Sure, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. If you're peeking in my window, your punishment is seeing me naked. Joke's on you, motherfucker.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sure, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. If you're peeking in my window, your punishment is seeing me naked. Joke's on you, motherfucker.

Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper 'No one gives a f**k'.

I tell that fucking bitch all the time. Fuck you fat bitch. Fuck you.

If, only you could experience it yourself. Pity you can't then you'd have something to bitch about with the rest of us.

Free, Encouragement Ecard: Stop whining about your appearance. Your personality is even worse.

Wouldn't it be SO great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free ...and three sizes smaller? | Confession Ecard

This is how i feel at work when i answer the phone :) Listen bitch, I'm being as polite as I possibly can.

Funny!

story of my life, we're friends because we judge. it's our thing, some people shop, we judge.

Yep.

Funny Flirting Ecard: If you're talking behind my back. you're in a real good position to kiss my ass.

Sorry, I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. Too funny

Funny

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Your dumb shit is what makes me want to get tanked at 11 am.

Wait while I fill that up...said no one ever

I like to think I AM kind and compassionate.There are some people, however, who choose to have a pity party or gripe fest EVERYDAY, and THAT is when my "cup of care" is empty!

I want us to have a love like Romeo and Juliet...I'll pretend I'm dead and you can go kill yourself

I want us to have a love like Romeo and Juliet.I'll pretend I'm dead and you can go kill yourself